Your piece really resonated with me. A lot of home-truths in there. I am now on my third or fourth cycle of the process and it doesn't get easier. My one piece of advice (for what it is worth and it sounds like you are doing this) is to flip the situation around. Ask yourself, am I doing the best for the person I am caring for or is there someone (e.g. assisted living, care home etc.) that could do a better job? Look at it from the level of the person for whom you are caring. The next step is not easy but sometimes it has to be done.